“Após a partida do meu marido, me sinto insignificante”
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October 3, 2023The larger the wedding celebration is planned, the more difficult it is to organize it. It is clear that the nerves of participants often find themselves at the limit. And if the bride’s
mother has a heavy character, this can ruin preparations for the holiday. Family Psychotherapist Rachel Sassman tells how to save the celebration.
It’s good when in such a difficult business as preparing a wedding, close people can help a future couple. So, at least, it is considered. And an important role here is traditionally given to the mother of the bride. Only if the relations of mother and daughter are not cloudless, then instead of coordinated work, they most likely wait for conflicts, tears and disappointments. In each case, you can find a constructive solution.
Controling mother
She is used to keeping all the parties to your life – with whom you are friends, what are you doing, what relations and with whom. So why will your wedding be an exception for her? This type of mothers has their own idea of what the wedding should be, and she will try to bring it to life, not paying attention to your wishes.
Psychotherapist Rachel Sassman believes that in this case it is better to immediately dot I over i. “Talk to her from the very beginning, tell about your vision of the wedding and what exactly she can help,” Sassman advises. – Having given her a responsible task, you will show that she is an important part of what is happening. The worst that such a mother can be said is that nothing is required of her. It is important for her to feel significant, so entrust her with the order of cakes, the choice of music, tablecloths or something else that you are not averse to delegating ”.
“Missing” mother
Almost every daughter dreams that her mother will help her with preparation for the wedding. But the mother of this type is too immersed in everyday affairs or unrest related to the wedding, excessive for her. Although for her daughter such detachment of the mother is not news, but it is still experienced painful.
“If the mother does not show interest in such an important event for you, you feel like a outcast and offended,” the psychotherapist says. But still it is worth asking if she wants to somehow participate in the preparation of the wedding. If the mother definitely makes it clear that she has other priorities, well, you are able to take care of yourself. “The main thing is to be able to cope with this feeling of rejection and disappointment,” continues Rachel Sassman. – Accept her as it is, and do not let it destroy your life. “.
